--- title: Letting Go of All-or-Nothing Thinking... description: Mindfulness helps us become aware of our thoughts and unhelpful thinking patterns. During Mindful Month with Smiling Mind see if you can cultivate the attitudes of mindfulness. image: https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/image-from-rawpixel-id-2308906-jpeg.jpg --- [Back to smilingmind.com.au](https://www.smilingmind.com.au/) [![](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/SM_BlogLogo_black.svg)](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au) [Login/Sign up](https://app.smilingmind.com.au/?_ga=2.99144346.505229074.1559522319-1047861382.1534989894) - Mindfulness - [Meditation](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/meditation) - [Informal mindfulness](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/informal-mindfulness) - [Mindful eating](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/mindful-eating) - [Self care](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/self-care) - [Tips & Tricks](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/tips-tricks) - At Home - [Children](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/children) - [Parents](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/parents) - [Family](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/family) - In Schools - [Students](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/students) - [Teachers](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/teachers) - [Schools](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/schools) - At Work - [Workplace](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/workplace) - [Business](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/business) - Mental Health - [Anxiety](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/anxiety) - [COVID19](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/covid19) - [Mental Health](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/mental-health) - [News](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/media-release) [Tips & Tricks](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/tips-tricks), [Mental Health](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/mental-health), [Meditation](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/meditation) 3 minute read # Letting Go of All-or-Nothing Thinking... ![Catherine Morey-Nase](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/Smiling%20Mind_%C2%A9Tatjana%20Plitt_1431-cropped.jpg) by [Catherine Morey-Nase](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/author/catherine-morey-nase) ![](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/image-from-rawpixel-id-2308906-jpeg.jpg) May 14, 2020 # and other unhelpful thinking patterns that can get in the way of your mindfulness practice Many of us have ingrained habitual thinking patterns that don’t always serve us so well. What’s more, we’re usually not aware of these patterns and tend to automatically believe the thoughts they generate. This can lead to frustration and giving up on things even when we value them and know that they’ll benefit us. Below we take a look at some common habitual thinking patterns that can get in the way of establishing a mindfulness practice.  Mindfulness itself helps us become more aware of our thoughts and unhelpful thinking patterns. As you consider which ones may show up for you see if you can cultivate the attitudes of mindfulness – kindness, curiosity and non-judgement – as you contemplate how you might manage them using the suggestions below. ![image-from-rawpixel-id-2308906-jpeg](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hs-fs/hubfs/image-from-rawpixel-id-2308906-jpeg.jpg?width=1200&name=image-from-rawpixel-id-2308906-jpeg.jpg) ## **All-or-Nothing Thinking and Jumping to Conclusions** ‘All-or-nothing thinking’ is the tendency to view things in black or white categories such as ‘good or bad’, ‘right or wrong’, ‘pleasant or unpleasant’; while ‘jumping to conclusions’ is the tendency to draw conclusions (usually negative) without really knowing if they’re accurate. Some examples of the ways in which these particular thinking patterns may come up in your mindfulness practice include: > - “I’m terrible at mindfulness”  > - “I need to master mindfulness in order to make it worthwhile” > - “I missed one meditation so I may as well give up now” > - “I feel bored/sleepy/restless when I meditate so it doesn’t work’”  ‘All-or-nothing thinking’ and ‘jumping to conclusions’ tend to be quite extreme and can result in giving up easily and losing confidence. This is because we give ourselves limited options. We’ve either mastered mindfulness or we’re failing at it. Or perhaps we’re falling into the trap of believing some of the misconceptions about mindfulness. There’s no in-between; no curiosity or kindness; no room to learn and grow.  When you notice ‘all-or-nothing thinking’ and ‘jumping to conclusions’ popping up, try asking yourself the following questions: > - “Am I being inflexible or rigid in my thinking?” > - “Is there a middle ground that I haven’t considered?” > - “Is there a less extreme way I can think about this?” > - “What would I say to a friend?” > - “Am I sure that the conclusion I’m coming to is accurate?”   ## **Mental Filtering** This type of habitual thinking involves ignoring the positive aspects of a situation and focusing solely on the negatives. We filter out the positives leaving only the negatives in our awareness. This happens as a result of the ‘negativity bias’, a survival mechanism that’s hardwired into the human brain. As a species we needed to pay closer attention to threats in order to survive. As psychologist Dr Rick Hanson says, *the brain is like velcro for negatives and teflon for positives*. While this doesn’t serve us so well now, the good news is that we can take steps to balance this out by making a conscious effort to pay closer attention to, and take in, the positives.  ## ![image-from-rawpixel-id-1209085-jpeg-1](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hs-fs/hubfs/image-from-rawpixel-id-1209085-jpeg-1.jpg?width=1200&name=image-from-rawpixel-id-1209085-jpeg-1.jpg) Mental filtering might show up in your mindfulness practice if, for example, you find yourself focusing solely on the  fact that during your practice your mind felt particularly busy and distracted; that you felt bored or sleepy; that you came into contact with uncomfortable emotions. Maybe you’ve filtered out the positive aspects of your practice - that you showed up and did it even though maybe you didn’t feel like it; that you also experienced moments of calm and focus; that you felt more energised and clearer afterwards.  Notice if you have a tendency to focus solely on the challenging aspects of your mindfulness practice and see if you can balance this out by taking note of the positives. This is not false positive thinking. Rather, it’s making the effort to notice and take in the positives that already exist.  ![image-from-rawpixel-id-378696-jpeg](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hs-fs/hubfs/image-from-rawpixel-id-378696-jpeg.jpg?width=1200&name=image-from-rawpixel-id-378696-jpeg.jpg) ## **Should-ing and Shouldn’t-ing** Should-ing and shouldn’t-ing is habitual thinking where you tell yourself that you have an obligation to be doing something different to what you are doing. Or that your experience ought to be different to what it is. It usually feels punitive and self-critical. Common ‘shoulds’ and ‘shouldn’ts’ in relation to mindfulness are: > - “I should meditate more” > - “I should be better at meditating by now” > - “I shouldn’t feel bored, sleepy or restless during meditation” > - “I should be able to quieten my mind” > - “I shouldn’t get so distracted when I meditate” Whatever the specific ‘shoulds’ and ‘shouldn’ts’ that pop up for you, they all add up to the same thing - that you should be better. If you notice ‘shoulds’ and ‘shouldn’ts’ coming up in relation to your mindfulness practice we suggest checking to make sure that they’re not playing into some of the myths and misconceptions about mindfulness. Remember, we can’t switch off our thoughts and meditation is not about perfection.  We encourage you to explore and experiment with your mindfulness practice; try the different practises and see which ones resonate most and that you most enjoy. If you are meditating because you enjoy it, rather than because you think you ‘should’, you are much more likely to integrate mindfulness into your life in a meaningful and sustainable way.    ![Catherine Morey-Nase](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/Smiling%20Mind_%C2%A9Tatjana%20Plitt_1431-cropped.jpg) ### Written by [Catherine Morey-Nase](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/author/catherine-morey-nase) ### SIMILAR POSTS [![adult brainstorming](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/adult%20brainstorming.jpg)](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/3-ways-being-mindful-at-work-makes-me-a-better-leader) #### [3 ways being mindful at work makes me a better leader](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/3-ways-being-mindful-at-work-makes-me-a-better-leader) [Workplace](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/workplace), [Tips & Tricks](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/tips-tricks), [Business](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/business) 3 minute read [![image-from-rawpixel-id-35927-jpeg-1](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/image-from-rawpixel-id-35927-jpeg-1.jpg)](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/mindfulness-as-a-coping-strategy-for-organisational-change) #### [Mindfulness as a coping strategy for organisational change](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/mindfulness-as-a-coping-strategy-for-organisational-change) [Workplace](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/workplace), [Tips & Tricks](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/tips-tricks) 4 minute read [![image-from-rawpixel-id-100023](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/image-from-rawpixel-id-100023.jpg)](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/3-surprising-effects-of-mindfulness-for-teachers) #### [3 surprising effects mindfulness has on teachers](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/3-surprising-effects-of-mindfulness-for-teachers) [Teachers](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/teachers), [Schools](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/schools) 4 minute read [![image-from-rawpixel-id-99765-jpeg-1](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/image-from-rawpixel-id-99765-jpeg-1.jpg)](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/6-tips-from-teachers-on-how-to-implement-mindfulness-in-schools) #### [6 Tips on how to implement mindfulness in schools](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/6-tips-from-teachers-on-how-to-implement-mindfulness-in-schools) [Children](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/children), [Teachers](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/teachers), [Schools](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/schools) 3 minute read [![What is the Mental Load? Signs you’re carrying too much, and what to do about it](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/iStock-1319763211.jpg)](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/what-is-the-mental-load-signs-youre-carrying-too-much-and-what-to-do-about-it) Family, Parents, Self care, Mindfulness, Mental Fitness 10 minute read ### [What is the Mental Load? Signs you’re carrying too much, and what to do about it](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/what-is-the-mental-load-signs-youre-carrying-too-much-and-what-to-do-about-it) by Smiling Mind ## Latest [![What is the Mental Load? Signs you’re carrying too much, and what to do about it](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/iStock-1319763211.jpg)](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/what-is-the-mental-load-signs-youre-carrying-too-much-and-what-to-do-about-it) ### [What is the Mental Load? Signs you’re carrying too much, and what to do about it](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/what-is-the-mental-load-signs-youre-carrying-too-much-and-what-to-do-about-it) If you’re a parent or caregiver, you probably know the feeling: your brain feels full of tasks that somehow keep multipl... Family, Parents, Self care, Mindfulness, Mental Fitness 10 minute read [![The Wellbeing Shifts I Hope to See in 2026](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/iStock-1498908506.jpg)](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/five-wellbeing-trends-to-watch-in-2026) ### [The Wellbeing Shifts I Hope to See in 2026](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/five-wellbeing-trends-to-watch-in-2026) We’ve made real progress in reducing stigma around mental health. But too often, we still wait until something is broken... Family, Schools, Mental Fitness 5 minute read [![Raising mentally fit kids in a digital world](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/iStock-1368247217.jpg)](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/raising-mentally-fit-kids-in-a-digital-world) ### [Raising mentally fit kids in a digital world](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/raising-mentally-fit-kids-in-a-digital-world) Practical tips to support children’s mental wellbeing and build better screen habits, without the daily battles. Tips & Tricks, Children, Family, Parents, Mental Fitness 10 minute read [![How to tell if it's stress or anxiety, and what to do about it](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/iStock-1135957638.jpg)](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/overwhelmed-and-on-a-deadline-how-to-tell-if-its-stress-or-anxiety-and-what-to-do-about-it) ### [How to tell if it's stress or anxiety, and what to do about it](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/overwhelmed-and-on-a-deadline-how-to-tell-if-its-stress-or-anxiety-and-what-to-do-about-it) You're staring at a long to-do list, the clock is ticking, and suddenly you can’t remember your email password. Is this ... Mindfulness 7 minute read [View more](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/all) ## At home [![Raising mentally fit kids in a digital world](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/iStock-1368247217.jpg)](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/raising-mentally-fit-kids-in-a-digital-world) ### [Raising mentally fit kids in a digital world](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/raising-mentally-fit-kids-in-a-digital-world) Practical tips to support children’s mental wellbeing and build better screen habits, without the daily battles. Tips & Tricks, Children, Family, Parents, Mental Fitness 10 minute read [![How can we better support caregivers and the children in their care?](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/iStock-1307370020.jpg)](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/how-can-we-better-support-caregivers-and-the-children-in-their-care) ### [How can we better support caregivers and the children in their care?](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/how-can-we-better-support-caregivers-and-the-children-in-their-care) Each year Smiling Mind checks in on the wellbeing of Australians through our State of Mind survey. The 2024 report focus... Children, Family, Parents, Mental Fitness 7 minute read [![Empowering Generations: A Bold Partnership to Transform Mental Health for Australia’s Women and Girls](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/Collection%20Resilient%20Families%20Parents%20.jpg)](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/empowering-generations-a-bold-partnership-to-transform-mental-health-for-australias-women-and-girls) ### [Empowering Generations: A Bold Partnership to Transform Mental Health for Australia’s Women and Girls](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/empowering-generations-a-bold-partnership-to-transform-mental-health-for-australias-women-and-girls) Creating generational change in mental health for Australia’s young girls and women is the driving force behind a new 3-... Children, Family, Parents, Mental Fitness 3 minute read [View more](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/children) ## At Work [![The Small Business Owner’s Survival Guide: Prioritising Mental Health in 2025](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/iStock-2154297863.jpg)](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/the-small-business-owners-survival-guide-prioritising-mental-health-in-2025) ### [The Small Business Owner’s Survival Guide: Prioritising Mental Health in 2025](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/the-small-business-owners-survival-guide-prioritising-mental-health-in-2025) Running a small business can be challenging—you're the strategist, the problem-solver, the cheerleader, and everything i... Workplace, Tips & Tricks, Business, Self care, Mental Fitness 11 minute read [![Navigating Peak Season Stress with Business Mental Fitness](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/iStock-2160502739.jpg)](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/navigating-peak-season-stress-with-business-mental-fitness) ### [Navigating Peak Season Stress with Business Mental Fitness](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/navigating-peak-season-stress-with-business-mental-fitness) Running a business is no easy feat, and the current economic uncertainty adds another layer of complexity. To support bu... Workplace, Business, Mental Fitness 5 minute read [![Mental Health in the Workplace: Why it Matters, with Mental Fitness Tips for SMEs](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/iStock-1317277259%20(1).jpg)](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/mental-health-in-the-workplace-why-it-matters-with-mental-fitness-tips-for-smes) ### [Mental Health in the Workplace: Why it Matters, with Mental Fitness Tips for SMEs](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/mental-health-in-the-workplace-why-it-matters-with-mental-fitness-tips-for-smes) Did you know that one in three small and medium sized business owners identify mental health as their top concern? It's ... Workplace, Business, Meditation 14 minute read [View more](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/workplace) ## At school [![The Wellbeing Shifts I Hope to See in 2026](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/iStock-1498908506.jpg)](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/five-wellbeing-trends-to-watch-in-2026) ### [The Wellbeing Shifts I Hope to See in 2026](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/five-wellbeing-trends-to-watch-in-2026) We’ve made real progress in reducing stigma around mental health. But too often, we still wait until something is broken... Family, Schools, Mental Fitness 5 minute read [![How to Encourage Friendships in the Classroom: A Guide for Teachers](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/iStock-907283180.jpg)](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/how-to-encourage-friendships-in-the-classroom-a-guide-for-teachers) ### [How to Encourage Friendships in the Classroom: A Guide for Teachers](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/how-to-encourage-friendships-in-the-classroom-a-guide-for-teachers) Healthy friendships are fundamental to a child’s emotional and social learning in school, but they don't always come eas... Tips & Tricks, Teachers, Students, Schools 9 minute read [![Why a ‘Blended’ Approach to Social and Emotional Learning in Schools Can Create Greater Impact](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/Schools%20program%20impact%20article.png)](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/impact-of-a-blended-approach-to-social-and-emotional-learning) ### [Why a ‘Blended’ Approach to Social and Emotional Learning in Schools Can Create Greater Impact](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/impact-of-a-blended-approach-to-social-and-emotional-learning) Schools, and the educators that work within them, are in a unique and influential position. They have the ability to cre... Children, Schools 18 minute read [View more](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/schools) ## News [![](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/youth%20social%20media%20ban.png)](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/youth-social-media-ban) ### ["A social media band-aid won’t stick": Smiling Mind's take on Australia's Proposed Under 16 Social Media Ban](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/youth-social-media-ban) The ban to prevent Australian children under 16 from accessing social media is filled with great intentions. However exp... Parents, Mental Health, Media release, Mental Fitness 4 minute read [![Children’s mental health the losers of this year’s budget](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/childrens%20mental%20health.png)](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/childrens-mental-health-the-losers-of-this-years-budget) ### [Children’s mental health the losers of this year’s budget](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/childrens-mental-health-the-losers-of-this-years-budget) The 2025 Federal Budget has failed our children, according to Australia’s leading children’s mental health not-for-profi... Mental Health, Media release 3 minute read [![Don’t forget Our Kids this budget, Prime Minister](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/hubfs/210506_SmilingMind_WaitaraPrimary_PaulMcMillan-014_Edit.jpg)](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/dont-forget-our-kids-this-budget-prime-minister) ### [Don’t forget Our Kids this budget, Prime Minister](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/dont-forget-our-kids-this-budget-prime-minister) Tomorrow’s budget announcement will be an important reflection of what we care about as a nation. There’s an opportunity... Children, Family, Mental Health, Media release 3 minute read [View more](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/tag/media-release) © 2026 Smiling Mind - [Privacy & Terms](https://www.smilingmind.com.au/privacy-and-terms) We recognise and pay respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Peoples, their ancestors, the Elders past, present and future from the different First Nations across this country. We acknowledge the importance of connection to land, culture, spirituality, ancestry, family and community for the wellbeing of all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children and their families. ### Info - [Home](https://www.smilingmind.com.au/) - [Mindfulness](https://www.smilingmind.com.au/what-is-mindfulness) - [Education](https://www.smilingmind.com.au/education) - [Workplace](https://www.smilingmind.com.au/mindfulness-workplace) - [Our free app](https://www.smilingmind.com.au/smiling-mind-app) - [Blog](https://blog.smilingmind.com.au/) - [FAQs](https://www.smilingmind.com.au/contact-us#our-faq) ### About - [About us](https://www.smilingmind.com.au/about-us) - [Our Team](https://www.smilingmind.com.au/about-us#anchor-our-team) - [Our Board](https://www.smilingmind.com.au/about-us#anchor-our-board) ### Action - [Contact](https://www.smilingmind.com.au/contact-us) - [Donate](https://shoutforgood.com/embed/lightbox?version=latest&client_token=dc092e09-150a-4a06-93de-14a387bffccc&custom_css=https://s3-ap-southeast-2.amazonaws.com/smgeneral/media/shout-donate-form.css&uid=d375e26da7&logLevel=error&xcomponent=1) - [give](https://www.smilingmind.com.au/support-us) - [shop](https://smilingmind.org.au/) - - - -